"Wow! You have some incredible info here.
I've saved hundreds and identified many time-wasters in the last six weeks and the women I want seem to be chasing me now.
It's really cool."
GB-Toronto
Dating Advice -- Matt Answers Letters
Dating & Mating Secrets ...
Matt's Relationship Advice.
Question:
Matt,
For starters, your website is amazing! I have the confidence now to
approach any woman I run into!
One question however, I was on a similar
site (run by a bitter, divorced woman) that said that if a man waited
longer than three days to call a lady then he is labeled a "Playa" and
that women should avoid this type of man.
What's your take on this?
--M.
Matt's Answer:
Hello M.:
Never take advice from a woman about how to
succeed with woman unless she is a lesbian with fantastic success. And if
she's a bitter divorced woman forget about it.
Get advice from a man who has
a solid track record of success.
Will some women think you're a 'playa' if
you wait longer than three days to call? Yes. But if she is REALLY
interested in you she won't.
For example if you're Brad Pitt, you get her
number and don't call her for two weeks, will she think you're playing her?NO. You're Brad Pitt!! She'd be happy to hear from you next year-or even
five years from now!
If her interest is high enough, longer than three days
is not too long.
If she's just looking for a free meal then SHE'S the
'playa'.
Question:
Hi Matt
Let me congratulate you on ur website...It is amazing...
I am from India....and I have been trying to woo a girl who already has a boyfriend....In fact I asked her out on a date and she agreed....That led to a second and that led to a third, and been going well...We both are really close, and talk about everything under the sun...
And to gauge her interest by ur tips, I would say that she is very interested....
It's been going on that way, she doesn't even mention her boyfriend at least once during her conversation, and we flirt with each other...though our relationship is not personal...i give her hugs and half hugs etc....and she responds but it dint go to the next level...I dont know her relationship with her present boyfriend, but I am guessing it's a bit more personal than that...
But the crunch came recently, when she called me out, and told me that her boyfriend wanted her to end all ties with me....And we parted as good friends....She said she doesnt want to lose a friend like me, and we still talk about a lot with each other..
So do you think anything can be salvaged from this??? Anything I could do to get her back??
Would be really grateful if you can reply....
Thanks and Regards,
S.
Matt's Answer:
Hello S.:
You asked if "anything can be salvaged" and also "Anything I could do to get her back?"
Sorry to say, you can't get back what you didn't have in the first place.
She has a boyfriend! You are an acquaintance. Perhaps she is friendly with you, but you remain just an acquaintance, a friend, someone she might enjoy being with, but clearly not as much as she enjoys being with her boyfriend.
The problem we men ALL have is thinking because we like a woman, she should like us as much-or more. NOT TRUE!!!!!
This woman has the best of both worlds, a boyfriend who she can be intimate with and a guy who she can hang with and make small talk. Women like to have men "friends." But men don't want a lot of women "friends", they want a lot of 'girlfriends.' There is a big difference.
Of course she doesn't want to lose a friend like you. But face reality. If it's between you and her boyfriend, she picks her boyfriend.
So what do you really mean to her? Remember her actions speak louder than words.
Forget her. Tell her you are no longer available to be her friend because you want more than that. Tell her if she ends it with her boyfriend to give you call, until then-Goodbye.
That's it! GOODBYE. Don't go into detail. Don't explain yourself. And don't make yourself available to her unless she gets rid of her boyfriend.
Believe me, she knows what's happening. If she really wants you, or is really interested in a relationship with you (the kind of relationship you want) she'll let you know in the only way she can, by her actions, NOT her words. Move on to the next. Find a woman who wants YOU to be her boyfriend, not just a friend.
Be a challenge, not a friend.
Question: What should I do about the girl I was seeing/ have interest in whose ex is still in the picture even though everyone including herself and her mother has told me how no good he is for her???
What is needed to be done in order to change a girl's perspective of me which is based on false pretenses and from circumstance and timing is was beyond our control??
Matt's Answer:
If he's really her 'ex' why is he STILL in the picture?
No need to explain this to me, but it's a question you should answer yourself. There are always excuses but what we need are REASONS.
She and her mother say he is no good for her? My mother told me at an early age, "Actions speak louder than words."
He is still in the picture for one of two reasons: She still wants him in the picture or She doesn't want him completely OUT of the picture.
The lesson is WATCH WHAT SHE IS DOING, NOT WHAT SHE IS SAYING.
The answer to your second question:
I assume you're talking about the same girl. There is very little you can do to change a person's impression of you. Someone once said 'you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.'
You have no control over what someone thinks of you. You can control what YOU think and what YOU do but not someone else.
So instead of trying to change HER impression of you why don't you change the person she thinks you are?
95% of all women respond to a challenge.
If you're in her life now, remove yourself. You don't have to announce it or explain it. Just remove yourself and be mysterious about it. I believe, if she cares about you, she'll come looking. If so, you will have the confidence of knowing you were in control and presented a challenge to her.
Control, confidence and challenge, all very important. But you also have to be prepared to face the reality if she is not interested in having you back in her life.
Remember, you can't make anyone love you. We guys too often focus on OUR interest level and not HER level of interest. Without her interest being high, there is no chance. Be ready to move on.
Your situation is exciting because you have a chance to re-define your relationship on YOUR terms. AND, maybe even a rare second chance to make that first impression–or at least a NEW impression.
Good luck. Let me know how it works out.
Question:
Hi Matt, thanks for the great tips. They seem to be quite consistent with my
experiences. If you ever wrote a book I would be quite interested.
I have a question about your latest tip though, about waiting at least 4-9
days before calling. I know that this number can vary largely depending on
where you get your advice. But 9 days seems a bit long to me, say for instance
a girl is very interested before the first date has even happened. She's very
touchy feely and flirty when you first meet, is it ok to call two days later?
I usually wait at least 3 days before calling, I didn't think it mattered that
much as long as you don't call right away.
Matt's Answer: (Six days later)
I intentionally waited to respond to your email.
Were you curious about
whether I would respond?
If you had high interest in my response to your
question you would be waiting for that response. If you didn't care, it
wouldn't matter to you.
So it goes with women. If she TRULY has high interest, I say it would be a
big mistake to call her in two days. You say you wait at least 3 days. Is
that working out for you? Are you getting the results you want with women?
I
believe three days is too soon. But if it works for you don't change it.
You see, if she is genuinely interested in you, really wants to know more
about you, and really wants to go out with you, calling too soon will only
spoil that.
You should call her just about the time she's wondering why you
haven't called her.
Most guys call too soon. They don't represent a
challenge. She gets that all the time. You must be different, set yourself
apart from the average bozo that calls in 1-2 days.
If she is TRULY interested in you, her interest will only increase in the
days following your initial meeting. If she's not TRULY interested in you,
it doesn't matter when you call.
Matt's Method Tip
What she DOES is more important than what she SAYS --
Switch up a situation - present her with a challenge
Relationship Advice 
