I recently met this girl on a online dating site. It's been over a week or so.
It started with her messaging me on that site. She said she saw my profile and saw that I liked making movies. She said she had a friend that likes to make movies too and I should meet him. I thought it was weird that she was trying to introduce me to another guy on a dating site. We messaged each other a few times and I got her MSN.
We talked to each other about 4 times on MSN, but never talked about the guy she was trying to introduce to me. I tried to keep the conversations on MSN short, cause I don't want to give up too much info about myself. It was hard at times, but I was able to end the conversations at the height of it.
I still think I may have talked too much. But anyway, I finally said that I would like to meet her in person and asked for her number. She gave it to me and told me to text her cause her phone is always on.
I asked my friends about it and some said I should text her and some said I should call her.
I then came across your "Text Trap" information, so I didn't text her or call her yet.
She gave me her number 2 days ago. What should I do now? Is she telling me to text her, so that I can fall into the trap? Also, did I do it wrong by MSN her 4 times instead of just keeping it short and asked for a date right away?
Hopefully I haven't blown it yet. I will need some guidance and analysis of my situation. Help is definitely appreciated.
Thank you!
N.
Matt's Answer:
N:
You said you "met her on a online dating site" but in reality you haven't yet met her. You have communicated with her, but until you meet, face to face, you have not really met.
You must understand, pictures, phone calls, IM, MSN, none of it matters until you meet FACE TO FACE IN PERSON.
Seems like she is interested and it's good you havene't called yet.
In the next 1-2 days, do not text her, but call her, make it short and set a time and place to meet.
Just tell her, "It's time for us to meet." You name the time and place.
Make it a quick meeting for coffee or tea, or just a quick meeting for no more than 30 minutes.
If she hesitates or makes an excuse WITHOUT making a counter offer for time and place, don't call her again. She might be just a game player.
It's been a while since I added a chapter and during that time I've received many emails with lots of questions. Sorry to say my schedule doesn't permit me to personally answer very many emails, but I hope to address some of your questions in upcoming chapters. This chapter addresses questions that deal with communication with a woman who you want to get closer to.
A lot of guys are communicating with women by texting, IM, Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter. Everybody does it and so do you. She does it, and so do her friends. By doing so you think you're "connected."
I say BULL! Sure you're connected along with a couple hundred other people.
You think you're special because she's responding to your texts? Because she sends you messages on Facebook? Because she lets you know what she's doing or wants to know what you're doing on Twitter? Don't believe it for a minute.
I've gotten a lot of questions that go something like this. "Hey Matt, things were going great, we were texting each other all the time and when I asked her out on a date she said, 'I thought we were friends'."
You thought you were making progress and she thought you were "friends." She thinks different than you.
Hey guys, you keep assuming she thinks like you.
SHE DOESN'T!!!!!
She thinks like a woman.
If you want to gain control you have to understand that. You have to take control and be in control and that means doing things the way you want-especially in deciding how you're going to communicate with her AND how available you are if she wants to communicate with you.
I have covered this before, but obviously the problem is more serious than I thought. (Read Chapter 8 again)
Drop all the digital and electronic communication crap and get to the personal meeting, the personal interaction and the talking face-to-face as soon as you can.
And then, when you have started the relationship keep the personal aspect going.
That means be together IN PERSON as often as YOU want to. Do not fall into the impersonal cyber-world trap that everybody is in.
Sure, we think we're connected with our "friends," and we accumulate them on Facebook like little girls collecting charms for their bracelet, but we're only connected on paper, or in this case on our computer screen, or iPhone screen.
You want to be connected?
Nothing is better than sitting across from the woman of your dreams and looking into her eyes and enjoying listening to her talk as she touches you.
Accept no substitutes. If you're sending her a message it should be "call me."
If she texts or Twitters or Facebook messages you "What are you doing now?" Your response should be something like "Can't tell you now, call me." Or how about this response? "Later."
If you can't get to her the way you want, make her come to you.
If she doesn't, move on to the one who does.
If you like her and want to see more of her and want to be with her-in person, you must take control. If you don't have control at the start it will be hard to get control.
Afraid you might lose her using "Matt's Method"? Well if you do, I say you didn't have her anyway. You can only truly build her interest in you in person. Human to human. That's the only time she can touch you, when she's there.
Sure, you can create an element of mystery through digital communication but the only way you can build or strengthen a relationship is in person.
Not on the phone, not through email, text message or Facebook.
ONLY IN PERSON!!!
And if you insist on that you will be different than most guys out there.
Stay tuned, more to come.
Matt's Method Tip # 15
Not on the phone, not through email, text message or Facebook.
Dating Advice 
