You approach her and say something like this: "Hi, I'm Matt. I haven't seen you here before, who are you?"
If she says "Hi Matt, I'm Kelli," that's a great sign.
If she extends her hand toward a handshake, even better.
If she responds to the "who are you" in your introduction with something like "I'm just a person who enjoys coffee" and doesn't offer her name it's not a good sign. She's not immediately interested in you.
Does that mean it's over with her? Not necessarily.
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Matt's Method - TIP #17
Dating & Mating Secrets ...
Don't Be Afraid.
A Great Success Story
Before I developed my method of meeting women I missed many opportunities.
How about you?
Have you ever seen a woman you wanted to meet and just didn't have the courage or technique to approach her?
It's usually a once-in-a-lifetime chance. You see her, you chicken out, and she's gone forever. Once you take control of your fear you will find the kind of success I found on a cool September night.
It was about 7PM on a Friday and I had just returned to California from a trip to the East Coast. Wearing a sweatshirt and jeans and needing a shave, I walked across the street from my condo to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping.
On the way I passed by a restaurant and through the window I saw a beautiful woman dining with another woman.
My immediate reaction was, "Wow, would I like to meet her!"
I kept going, did my shopping and as I walked back toward my condo I passed the window and the women were still there, eating and talking.
Again I thought "I wonder who she is and if she lives around here. If so, I'll probably see her again…"
Then I stopped and had a short, honest meeting with myself and decided if I was EVER going to meet this beautiful woman, I had to do it now. Putting aside the fact that I didn't look my best and was holding a bag of groceries I pulled a business card out of my wallet, turned around and walked into the restaurant.
The hostess met me at the door and I told her I was just going to say hello to a friend. I walked up to the table with the two women and as they looked up at me I said: "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner. My name is Matt and I live across the street. I was just walking by and saw you through the window and wanted to explore the possibility of meeting you." (I'm looking at the one I'm interested in)
I continued: "I don't always look like this and I don't want to take anymore of your time but if you're not attached, I would welcome the opportunity to meet you. So here's my card, if you have any interest at all, please give me a call." (Now looking at both of them) "Again, sorry to interrupt. Have a nice night." And with that, I headed for the door and walked out.
I got no signal from either woman, no words, no reaction. Nor did I expect one. They were caught off guard. Did I hope she would call? Absolutely. Did I expect her to call? Not really. But I had done something that made me stronger. Too many times in my past life I had let that opportunity go by only to wish I had approached a woman I really wanted to meet.
By the next day, Saturday, I had forgotten all about that beautiful face I saw through the window.
Monday afternoon my phone rang and I answered with "Hello, this is Matt."
A female voice on the other end responded, "So is that what you always do to meet people, just walk up to them in a restaurant and give them your card?"
I could hear a smile in her voice and I had to think fast. "I only do it when I see someone I really want to meet and I've only done it once. Who's calling?"
She told me her name was Jade and we had a very brief conversation which was basically, 'so what do we do now?' I suggested we meet for a drink soon and she suggested tomorrow.
That was a good sign, she was anxious to meet. She also mentioned that she didn't remember what I looked like and asked how she would recognize me. Isn't that interesting?
I was a mess, unshaven, and carrying a grocery bag. Although men often have to pass the 'physical attraction' test, Jade wasn't responding to my appearance. She was responding to the confidence I displayed that night I approached her table. Nice.
We met Tuesday evening and after a couple of drinks Jade came to my place where we enjoyed an intimate night together. That was the beginning of a two-year relationship with a fabulous woman than only ended when I wanted it to. We still talk occasionally and she's still beautiful.
The lessons? Take a chance. Take control. Be confident. You can't lose in a situation like this. And while I don't recommend giving your number without getting hers, sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
So have a business card. It's much better than asking for her phone to put your number in, or writing it down, or dictating it to her while she writes it down.
Even if you don't have a business, have a card. Your name, your contact info.
That's all you need to make you look like you really have it together.